10.30.2012

You're Irrational

When I tell people what I'm afraid of, they generally tell me that it is an irrational fear.  This just simply isn't true.  Let me tell you some reasons why it isn't irrational:
  • I have nightmares about it
  • In those nightmares, I cry
  • That should be justification enough
  • CRYING
  • Sometimes I wake up crying, and continue to cry until I realize it was a nightmare
  • This is actually happening to someone very close to me right now, and I tell her often how sad I am for her and her loss and I frequently mourn in her behalf
  • It is not uncommon that I fall asleep praying that this doesn't happen to me
  • If this did happen, I would cry for days, nay, weeks.  
  • Then I would attempt to embrace it
  • And then I would fail
  • The fear of this has been a catalyst to fearing the following things:
    • new foods
    • pregnancy
    • a bad grade
    • an important test
    • stress
    • anxiety 
    • breathing the wrong air
  • See why it's not irrational?  
If you can guess what it is I'll give you five dollars.  Seriously, I will.  Put it in the comments and I'll come find you.  

10.23.2012

Hannah, the hipsters, and Jesus.

Provo, UT, USA
3 things have spurred these thoughts.  I've color coded them so that you might more easily make the distinction.

Please meet Hannah.
Hannah built a matrix.
A matrix of awesomeness out of clothing items.
With Hannah's matrix her originality won't run out for some 27 months, if I'm not mistaken.

From many a hipster I have learned that it is cool (but like one-of-a-kind, unique cool) to have, be, wear, or do what no one else has ever had, been, worn or done.


To my dearest hipster nation, hear you this: you are not the firsts and you most certainly are not the only-s.  Acceptance is step number one.

I decided at the ripe old age of 15 that I was going to get on and stay on the road that I believe not only leads to happiness but is also happy along the way.  Following Jesus and listening to God, that's what I chose.  

Hannah, the hipsters, and the embracing of the Gospel of Jesus Christ have spurred a schizophrenic conversation in my head and it's been going for quite some time.  It entails topics such as originality, individuality, and the ever-flowing body of water that we call mainstream, both within the realm of my religion and outside of it.

How much of what you think is original is the original? This started when I wondered who thought of parachute pants.  We are born imitators. Whether from the conscious or subconscious that is what we do. We imitate what we see and experience. How did we learn to walk, talk, and throw food? Imitation, baby. Despite what you just assumed, I'm not discounting creativity or saying that it doesn't exist, rather that it is often wrongly defined.  Creativity is bringing something about that doesn't naturally evolve or come about through natural processes.  It is not something built from nothing, because you didn't start with nothing. You always start with something: an idea, an object, something you learned previously that was gathering dust in the back of your mind whether you were aware of it's presence or not.

There are many facets to this topic and I can't attempt to voice my opinion about all of them, so this will be a more focused opinion on just one aspect of the whole ginormous thing. 

In this, as I said, is the battle of how to embrace that endeavor of becoming like that person that more than 2 billion people are trying to be like (Jesus, in case you didn't know).  In that effort where does individuality come in? How are you like Him but an individual at the same moment? In the rise and the fall of it I have learned much.  From many sources comes encouragement to be unique, to find a niche, and to be no one but yourself.  We are pushed to "find ourselves" and once that is found to be our "best self", but not to conform and become another lemming without any meaning in our march.  So how do I be like Jesus, but be myself?  This is where the awesomeness begins.  Brace yourself.  Are you seated?   In trying to be like Him, you grow out of bad and good things into this person that is loving, kind, and devoted but with traits that only you have. You love the way that only you can love.  You be kind in only a way that you can be kind.  And you give in a way that only you can give.
To become like Jesus is to be the best version of you that is possible.  He doesn't want you to be Him.  He wants you to be you but be like him.  Love, give, and care but in your own way.

10.05.2012

Classroom

This is a really neat thing.  And a neat way to look at education throughout the world.

10.02.2012

10/2

I hate poetry.  
Ok that's not true.  
I hate your poetry. 
You know who I like?
John Donne.  Samuel Johnson.  Edward Taylor.  
That's the poetry that I like.  They wrote real poetry.  I don't mean "real" as the opposite of "fake."  I mean to say that they wrote about real things.  And you know what they did with those real things?  They twisted them.  To tell the truth still, but from a different angle.  That's the poetry that I like.  I like poetry that bubbles on your tongue when you read it aloud.  And those poets do just that.  Last year I enrolled myself in the poetry class here at BYU.  Thinking "this will help me like poetry or it will give me justification for my hatred," I clicked the 'add class' button.  It was definitely time for one of the two.  On the first day of class , you know when everyone introduces themselves, I made my hatred known.  At first I thought it would be funny in an ironic sort of way.  People in poetry classes don't get funny irony.  Poor poetry class people, you are missing out. 

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