Bahia Blanca, Argentina

That is the place. Thus is the root of all my fears at this time in my life. I feel like I should be exploding at any moment. Or like I'm gonna get hit by a bus. Either would suffice for settling my ever churning stomach. Let me tell you something about knowing the exact geographical location of yourself for the next 18 months, but not a clue of where your mental state will reside or in some instances I'm sure...not reside: it is very detaching. When the only thoughts you have are of you getting eaten by large bugs or crying all the time or being so hot you think you'll die and then so cold you wish you had died when it was hot, or eating large bugs and other foreign(to your taste buds) things. This is frightening. The thing is (and I know they're just being positive and trying to keep me positive) people keep telling me I'll love it and it will be great once I get there and get started and start meeting people and doing the work. I know that, but you have to understand the amount of fear I now have for the unknown. I have no idea what it will be like, at all. Not even a little bit. That is what's causing me to tremble at this time. Just not knowing.

Hello?

This is so foreign to me. I don't even know if I am doing this right. Who wants to read about the simplistic details of my life?? I suppose that's why I didn't tell anyone I had this(I don't really want anyone to read it anyway). I mean to say every person has their own life, their own obligations, their own thoughts and their own engagements...so what would provoke them to read about my life?

But then again I suppose my writing this partially exposes my assumption that someone would read whatever I happen to spill onto this silly page. So I'll keep assuming and I suppose if anyone is out there, you may continue to read.

I think these things also serve as journals and vaults where people can "vent" without any real repercussions, responsibilities, or consequences for their actions and words, or lack thereof. I hear these things get pretty vicious...watch your back!