Half Dome: Another Time I Thought I Might Die

Maybe I should start this story by spoiling the ending. I didn't climb the rock. I turned around and came down. I tried to be brave and have courage but I guess I just didn't.

Maybe I should make this a series about hikes that my family wants to go on that I'm not thrilled about but went anyway and it ended up being a really good time.

This would be part two of that series. Part one would be the Grand Canyon.

This hike came about because Tyler and I got sucked into one of those you-won-a-free-trip-and-all-we-need-is-your-email-and-your-firstborn things. We decided that would be a good excuse to make a big trip out of it. We went to Tahoe first for a few days and then met up with my family in Yosemite to hike Half Dome.

I'm sure you know Yosemite is breathtaking. It's a mountainous oasis with sky scraping granite surrounding lush green valleys weaved with cold rivers. If you don't know Yosemite but you own an apple product, at one point Half Dome was your background so just filter back through there and I'm sure you'll find it.

Leading up to this trip, and many other hikes I wasn't thrilled about but went anyway, my Dad talked IT UP! Sending us the stats including elevation gain, strenuousness, and number of deaths in recent history. You know, all the things to get everyone pumped.

We hit the trail bright and early and I was scowl-y and slow. The first part has several(don't quote me, it was early) stunning waterfalls and shrubbery, a lot of which I missed because of all the scowling I was busy doing. I defrosted quickly though and rather enjoyed bringing up the rear for the next several miles. Then came the going up part of the hike.

I'm just not an uphill kind of person. I don't think it agrees with my brand. Let's just skip to the part where I wimp out.

If you haven't hiked Half Dome here's a little summary: up, up, waterfalls, granite staircases, flat, flat, flat, up, up, straight up, straight up some rocks, flat area where you eat granola bars and drink the last drops of your water, STRAIGHT UP A SLIPPERY PIECE OF GRANITE HOLDING ON TO A SHANTY CABLE THEY PUT IN HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO AND DON'T REALLY MAINTAIN BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT TECHNICALLY SUPPOSED TO BE CLIMBING THIS TINY PIECE OF COUNTERTOP.

That is a factually accurate description of the hike. Look it up. Here, I'll look it up for you.

What is The Bachelor franchise actually good for?

Tyler gets 90% of the credit for this post. He said something after we watched ATFR that really made me think and is actually a brilliant analysis of the show.

The Bachelor franchise claims to be committed to helping people find love. They've set up the perfect scenario so that people can find their perfect match and live happily ever after. Well we all know the statistics and have heard a thousand times the numbers on 'bachelor couples' that actually stay together. It's disheartening to say the least. There are very few couples that found someone they wanted to be with and even fewer who have stayed with that person since they stopped filming their season. I'm not talking about that.

The ones who made it to the end, picked someone, and have found happiness and stayed with that someone are great. I think they're the rare lucky ones. Good for them, for basically gypping a system that is built to make you fail. I'm sure they're very grateful for what they have and work hard to maintain it, but like I said they gypped the system.

The Bachelor is not good at helping people find love. It has had a few flukes where people end up happy and in love, yes. But what the Bachelor is actually extremely skilled in is breakups. Heartbreak, heartache, getting dumped, being abandoned, that is the franchise's real talent.

At the end of the show on the final day when the lead is supposed to break up with one person and propose to the other, they always say the same thing. Some form of:

"Well I know it's going to be really hard to break up with (other person I'm dating), but I also know I have to do it to get to my happy ending (being engaged to other person I'm dating)."

And then in the After show and the months that follow that's basically what the show and the media is focused on. One person's broken heart/breakup and the subsequent joy of the other two people's happy engagement. They treat it like there was really only one difficult or true breakup on the season.

But let's take a look at the course of a season. Supposedly 25+ relationships/courtships begin on day one of the show. The women/men who are dating the lead are produced and then believe that they are the one dating the lead.

So then the show goes on and people leave/get broken up with. And then we see people cry. People cry on night one of leaving. And we laugh because we think that's silly that someone would cry for being broken up with after what appears to be 6 hours of 'dating.' And it is silly. In real life that would be silly to cry over someone you met 6 hours ago. But in Bachelor world it is not silly, it is serious and sad and dare I say, dramatic?

The show constructs this environment where you're enchanted and enamored on night one. You're already convinced that [insert location] is the perfect place to fall in love. You're (a little) convinced that the lead is probably the person for you and that you could see the potential possibility of wanting to fall in love with them.

So then when you get sent home, all of that environmental hype is crushed. You feel sad and hurt and embarrassed. And then the producers ask you questions like, "do you even want to find love?," "do you consider yourself a lovable person?," "do you ever think you'll find anyone who will love you?" So you cry, and talk about how all you really want in life is happiness and you thought sharing a house with 25 other people all trying to date the person you're dating would make you happy.

That is what the show is best at. They are professionals at creating an environment that makes you anticipate and want and desire things and then they take it away from you. They dangle some dreams in front of you, even let you smell the roses and then offer them to other people.

A book I read

Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I were given a limited amount of time to live. I think everyone probably wonders that sometimes. Unless you are prone to existential crises in which maybe you put a lot of effort into not wondering about that. I'd like to think I could begin to live every day as fully as possible and soak in every little moment. I'd never be angry, annoyed or frustrated. Only grateful, content and joyful.

Did you brush your teeth? A Pregnancy Story

If you've had any contact with us in the last year and a half then we probably told you the story of how we found out I was pregnant with Alice. For the other three people on the planet, I'm writing it here so you can read it.

We had been trying to get pregnant for a couple years and were getting ready to move to Spokane, and therefore losing the doctor we had, so it seemed like a good time to give up for a while. We were pretty discouraged and welcomed the break--sort of.

Neither of us were doing a lot of work so we had plenty of time to spend packing and cleaning. The way I pack is pretty efficient. I usually just choose a space that I feel like packing and hit it hard with Netflix in the background till it's done. I probably packed our dishes first, our storage last and our pantry somewhere in the middle. I know, super efficient.

The plan was to drive with Tyler's parents who let us borrow their truck and trailer. We drove the 11 hours in one day, which probably ended up being about 13 hours since we had a big heavy trailer of life behind us. We 'decided' to stop for dinner at the only restaurant in a 100-mile stretch once we got hungry.

It was a place kind of like Denny's but more like Denny's plus an antique store plus a Montana collectibles store. They had a giant menu ranging from breakfast burritos to ribeye steaks. I ordered oatmeal with butter and brown sugar on the side. Tyler ordered a chicken alfredo dish that was large enough to feed all four of us.

A book I read

I finished two books in January. Which will probably be two more than I finish the rest of the year. I've shared books before on here and I know no one actually cares what I've read but just in case someone wants to talk about it with me or wants a recommendation/warning, here we go again. The first one is The Bassoon King by Rainn Wilson.

I followed Rainn on twitter and Instagram for several years and he almost never posted about The Office or Dwight. He was always posting about his wife, son, Zonkey, his faith or his charity Lidé Haiti. I found out he had written a book a few years after it was published and put it on my to-read list and just recently got around to it. 

Rainn has one of the strongest senses of self that seeps out of his words. He talks a lot about life events of course, but he talks more about how the things he has done and chosen have shaped him as a person. He discusses, life, God, religion, death and purpose in a way that doesn't close you off but rather makes you feel more open and hopeful and more understood.

A few favorite quotes because he says it better than I could paraphrase.

When you see a lifeless form, you realize so clearly that we are not our bodies. 

Stories not only entertain us but tell us who and why we are, and what we believe collectively and individually.

 I don't know anything.

I've read several books written by actors, comedians, or other creatives and Rainn's has been my favorite so far. 10/10 would recommend. Here is a link to buy the book on Amazon.

Magic

There are little things that happen each day (sometimes few and far between, but they still happen) that make my insides feel like someone stuck a little flame in there. I guess “warms my heart” would be the phrase I hear most people use but that sounds superficial compared to what I feel. 

It’s as if actual heat pumps out of my heart and spreads to my extremities.

It happens when Alice leans in to kiss Tyler. 

It happens when Tyler hugs me just a little longer, because he feels what I need.

It happens when Tyler kisses me and that makes Alice laugh.

Her laugh, every time she laughs. 

Tyler and Alice have this thing he calls cheek time. She lays her cheek on his and rests there for a while, calm as can be.

It happens when one of us hides and she looks for us. 

It also happens when she's super whiney and pulls on my pants until I pick her up. 

And it happens when either of them rest their head on me.