My Mom Jeans

This probably isn't worth writing an entire blog post about but oh well. Since having Alice, my old pants, my hip-hugging, low-rise jeans don't quite 'fit' right. And when I say 'fit' I mean some of them don't button and some of them feel like what it probably feels like to be a sleeping bag bag. Trying to fit so much into such a small space.

I told myself that I just needed to lose the last pounds of my pregnancy weight and then they'd fit. Well I lost those pounds and guess what, they still didn't fit.

At first I was a little put off. That's annoying that just because I had a baby I now have bigger hips and I couldn't make them shrink back to the way they were before a bowling ball sized human went through them.

And then I thought, why would anything ever be the same after that? That's insane.

Here are what I would like out of my pants. Is this too much to ask? I don't think so.

I need jeans I can sit down in without my intergluteal cleft showing, or having them slide halfway down my butt.
I need jeans that let me dance.
I need jeans that don't hinder me chasing tiny baby feet.
I need jeans in which I can bend over and pick up the same thing a thousand times.
I also need jeans that make my butt look good, or like I still have a butt.
I would like jeans in good washes and with a little bit of built in wear and tear.
I would also like jeans I can take a nap in and lay on the floor in, and do other lethargic things in.

So then I went to a store and found me some jeans that didn't make me feel like stuffed sausage. Now some would classify these as mom jeans. Well that's fine cause I'm a mom, but that doesn't mean that only moms can wear jeans that fit and stay on and fill the above requirements.

So can we stop calling them mom jeans. Because I think the regular jeans would be offended that nobody really likes them or needs them anymore. And that's just sad. Why would you make the jeans feel bad like that? What did they do to you? Just let the regular, crappy, not fitting well jeans live, okay?

Let's just call them all jeans.

Did I make Tyler take a bunch of pictures of me in my new jeans solely for this post? Yes.
Do I look like a fool? Yes.
But do I look good in these jeans? Yes.


What is The Bachelor franchise actually good for?

Tyler gets 90% of the credit for this post. He said something after we watched ATFR that really made me think and is actually a brilliant analysis of the show.

The Bachelor franchise claims to be committed to helping people find love. They've set up the perfect scenario so that people can find their perfect match and live happily ever after. Well we all know the statistics and have heard a thousand times the numbers on 'bachelor couples' that actually stay together. It's disheartening to say the least. There are very few couples that found someone they wanted to be with and even fewer who have stayed with that person since they stopped filming their season. I'm not talking about that.

The ones who made it to the end, picked someone, and have found happiness and stayed with that someone are great. I think they're the rare lucky ones. Good for them, for basically gypping a system that is built to make you fail. I'm sure they're very grateful for what they have and work hard to maintain it, but like I said they gypped the system.

The Bachelor is not good at helping people find love. It has had a few flukes where people end up happy and in love, yes. But what the Bachelor is actually extremely skilled in is breakups. Heartbreak, heartache, getting dumped, being abandoned, that is the franchise's real talent.

At the end of the show on the final day when the lead is supposed to break up with one person and propose to the other, they always say the same thing. Some form of:

"Well I know it's going to be really hard to break up with (other person I'm dating), but I also know I have to do it to get to my happy ending (being engaged to other person I'm dating)."

And then in the After show and the months that follow that's basically what the show and the media is focused on. One person's broken heart/breakup and the subsequent joy of the other two people's happy engagement. They treat it like there was really only one difficult or true breakup on the season.

But let's take a look at the course of a season. Supposedly 25+ relationships/courtships begin on day one of the show. The women/men who are dating the lead are produced and then believe that they are the one dating the lead.

So then the show goes on and people leave/get broken up with. And then we see people cry. People cry on night one of leaving. And we laugh because we think that's silly that someone would cry for being broken up with after what appears to be 6 hours of 'dating.' And it is silly. In real life that would be silly to cry over someone you met 6 hours ago. But in Bachelor world it is not silly, it is serious and sad and dare I say, dramatic?

The show constructs this environment where you're enchanted and enamored on night one. You're already convinced that [insert location] is the perfect place to fall in love. You're (a little) convinced that the lead is probably the person for you and that you could see the potential possibility of wanting to fall in love with them.

So then when you get sent home, all of that environmental hype is crushed. You feel sad and hurt and embarrassed. And then the producers ask you questions like, "do you even want to find love?," "do you consider yourself a lovable person?," "do you ever think you'll find anyone who will love you?" So you cry, and talk about how all you really want in life is happiness and you thought sharing a house with 25 other people all trying to date the person you're dating would make you happy.

That is what the show is best at. They are professionals at creating an environment that makes you anticipate and want and desire things and then they take it away from you. They dangle some dreams in front of you, even let you smell the roses and then offer them to other people.


A book I read

Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I were given a limited amount of time to live. I think everyone probably wonders that sometimes. Unless you are prone to existential crises in which maybe you put a lot of effort into not wondering about that. I'd like to think I could begin to live every day as fully as possible and soak in every little moment. I'd never be angry, annoyed or frustrated. Only grateful, content and joyful.


Did you brush your teeth? A Pregnancy Story

If you've had any contact with us in the last year and a half then we probably told you the story of how we found out I was pregnant with Alice. For the other three people on the planet, I'm writing it here so you can read it.

We had been trying to get pregnant for a couple years and were getting ready to move to Spokane, and therefore losing the doctor we had, so it seemed like a good time to give up for a while. We were pretty discouraged and welcomed the break--sort of.

Neither of us were doing a lot of work so we had plenty of time to spend packing and cleaning. The way I pack is pretty efficient. I usually just choose a space that I feel like packing and hit it hard with Netflix in the background till it's done. I probably packed our dishes first, our storage last and our pantry somewhere in the middle. I know, super efficient.

The plan was to drive with Tyler's parents who let us borrow their truck and trailer. We drove the 11 hours in one day, which probably ended up being about 13 hours since we had a big heavy trailer of life behind us. We 'decided' to stop for dinner at the only restaurant in a 100-mile stretch once we got hungry.

It was a place kind of like Denny's but more like Denny's plus an antique store plus a Montana collectibles store. They had a giant menu ranging from breakfast burritos to ribeye steaks. I ordered oatmeal with butter and brown sugar on the side. Tyler ordered a chicken alfredo dish that was large enough to feed all four of us.


In Default

In church several weeks ago, someone said something that pricked my little brain so sharply that I couldn't stop thinking about it for days. Probably because I grew up with a computer in our home and later a phone in my hand.

Everyone has a default.

We're familiar with default settings. We've all adjusted the default settings on device after device to make it function the way we want it to. Because the default settings, if we're honest, are crap.

They are the most basic of the basic. The default settings do allow your device to function. However,  until you start adjusting the settings, your device won't fit your needs or function efficiently for you.

If you never adjusted your device from its default, eventually you may not even notice that everything is still on default. You sit in and eventually sink into those settings and they don't seem that bad to you.

Until you see someone else's device that has been adjusted and then you realize you didn't change your settings.

Okay enough with the device metaphor.

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