Those Who Can't Do, Teach.

What a stupid thing to say to or about teachers. Mostly because it is meant to be a snub.

"Those who can't do, teach."

This post is not for the sole purpose of defending my own former profession. The purpose is to hopefully show you why I value good teachers, many of my friends and peers, and why you should too.

If you think that someone has the ability to teach something that they really can't do themselves, you would be absolutely right. Teachers teach their students how to do things they are not very good at, all the time.

Do I know how to write the best Literary Analysis essay? No. Do I want to write the best literary Analysis essay? Um, hell no. But you know what I can do and actually want to do? Help my students write their best Literary Analysis essay. And am I capable of that? Hell yes. Why is hell a swear word?

Teachers have an ability to make their students do things they didn't know they were capable of doing. They get to sit by their side and show them what is possible. And watch them turn that possibility into a reality. It is one of the funnest things to do.

So this saying is true in a certain context. The context that no, teachers can't do all the things their students do. Because they all have abilities that their teachers don't have. But what teachers CAN DO is bring out their students' best skills and show them what they are capable of.

That is what a teacher CAN do.

I know I have the ability to teach someone how to tell their best story. I have the ability to give someone tools that allow them to find their voice and make it heard.

With this new copywriting business(can I even call it that?) I know that I can teach and help others how to write their own story. I am the best at telling my story but I'm not sure I'm the best at telling your story. You are the best at that, and I can help you get there.




For the first few clients I take on, this will likely feel pretty experimental but I also know it will feel pretty incredible. To find your voice, and tell your story and connect with the people who support you in the most connective way.

A Book I Read: Cooking Edition

A cookbook?! I am certainly not an expert on cooking or cookbooks or food so this is very much a layman's review. I am however an expert on eating so that is what this book review is based on.

We have made upwards of 15 recipes from Smitten Kitchen Everyday by Deb Perelman and, I say this without hesitation, ALL have been delicious.

Anyone else have the opposite of the first pancake effect when they make new recipes? It seems like the first time I make a new recipe it is delicious and I love it and I eat it all. But then I try to make it a second or third time and it's just not as good. It's usually still good enough to eat but something just feels off.

None of the recipes we've tried from this book have had that happen. We keep making them over and over and they are just as good every time. This is what made me want to share about this book, I don't have another cookbook that I can say this about. Well done, Deb. I'm probably the last person that has any merit in saying that but oh well.

Many if not all of the recipes can most likely be found on the Smitten Kitchen website. But they are slightly different and I think maybe the ones in the book have been perfected, and possibly simplified, and are therefore better? I don't really know that, it's just an impression.

If you click the cover, it will take you to Amazon where you can buy the book. The other links on here will take you to Deb's site. 

Here are our very very favorites:

Gifts for 'Mom' that are Better Than a Card

First, you need to know that Mother's Day is not for only biological mothers. It is a day for you to appreciate the person who mothered you. Sometimes that is your dad, your sibling, your aunt, uncle, grandparent, friend, teacher, neighbor, and sometimes that is you. So, these gifts are a way for you to appreciate that person who mothered you, whomever that may be. So, apply said filter to each of the following gifts.

I fully support and value the candle/lotion/bath bomb/face mask/perfume gift. 100%. I just wanted to make a 'gift guide' that had a little more to do with my specialty, writing.

You're probably thinking, "that will take way too much brainpower that I have reserved for CandyCrush(is that still what the kids play?)." I've broken it down for you, so it shouldn't be too overwhelming. And for those of us that just want to click, click, click and be done, I'll include some links to a few books that would make great gifts.

How to Write a Letter

A little guide to writing a letter. Since most of us probably haven't written one since our 8th Grade Penpals.

Who: 

Who should you write a letter to, you might ask? Well. Everyone. Your parents, your cousin(my cousin Cami and I wrote letters back and forth when we were little. It was so fun and cute of us), your neighbors or old neighbors, your friends who you usually text memes to, your favorite teacher or professor, your significant other, etc.

Really you could write a letter to anyone, as displayed by my extensive list above. All it takes is a want to connect with that person.

When:

Right now! No better present to do stuff in than the present you're sitting in. I just made that up. Didn't it feel profound and like you want to put it on a T-shirt, but not in like an obvious way right in the middle of the shirt but maybe off to one side or on a sleeve or something? I thought so.

What:

What to say? What to say? I'll give you a little outline you can follow. And if you don't like outlines you are probably a normal person but you should really learn to love outlines, they are friendly and make life less messy.

Start by saying why you decided to write this person a letter. Examples below.

• I was just remembering when (insert recent experience) and it made me think of you. 
• I (recent experience) and it made me think about how you (something they did or said or are that you admire)
• I wanted to connect with you again and thought it would be fun to write you a letter!
• I read this interesting woman's blog about how to write a letter and so I'm practicing on you. How's it going so far?

Continue your letter by updating them on 1-2 (or more if you know this person's attention span well) recent life events of yours. Here are some samples to get you started:

• I was at the grocery store the other day and there were dark chocolate sea salt kombucha samples so I tried it and then ended up buying the rest of the store's stock. 
• I went to the park the other day and it was so sunny and beautiful. There were kids playing there so carefree and happy. And then they started picking their noses and eating their boogers. Little kids are gross. 
• I've decided to (something you've decided to start doing in your life). I think it's going well so far. I am excited about what could become of this venture I've decided to take on. 
• Something sad or upsetting to you and how you are trying to get through it. 

Next you can ask some engaging questions about the person's life or thoughts or opinions or family or pets. Ask questions that allow for the person to respond with more than yes or no. This is not a 20 questions letter. Although that could be a fun format as well. Some examples below.

• I saw that (insert thing you saw them post about on social media) and that looked so awesome! What was that experience like? Were you nervous/excited/scared?
• Do you still (insert hobby or interest that you know this person has done)? How is it going? Have you learned a lot of new stuff regarding said hobby/interest?
• How is (insert significant thing/person/pet)? I hope they are doing well. 
• What are you looking forward to the next few weeks? 

Why:

It is so fun to get mail that isn't a credit card application or a Papa Murphy's coupon(I mean, these are pretty fun, I guess)! It also is pretty affirming to think that someone would sit down and take the time to write out more than a few sentences just for you. On the sender end of a letter, it is clarifying and rejuvenating to write out your thoughts and questions for someone.

I hope this helps you in your letter-writing endeavors and will inspire you to write at least one in the near future!

Half Dome: Another Time I Thought I Might Die

Maybe I should start this story by spoiling the ending. I didn't climb the rock. I turned around and came down. I tried to be brave and have courage but I guess I just didn't.

Maybe I should make this a series about hikes that my family wants to go on that I'm not thrilled about but went anyway and it ended up being a really good time.

This would be part two of that series. Part one would be the Grand Canyon.

This hike came about because Tyler and I got sucked into one of those you-won-a-free-trip-and-all-we-need-is-your-email-and-your-firstborn things. We decided that would be a good excuse to make a big trip out of it. We went to Tahoe first for a few days and then met up with my family in Yosemite to hike Half Dome.

I'm sure you know Yosemite is breathtaking. It's a mountainous oasis with sky scraping granite surrounding lush green valleys weaved with cold rivers. If you don't know Yosemite but you own an apple product, at one point Half Dome was your background so just filter back through there and I'm sure you'll find it.

Leading up to this trip, and many other hikes I wasn't thrilled about but went anyway, my Dad talked IT UP! Sending us the stats including elevation gain, strenuousness, and number of deaths in recent history. You know, all the things to get everyone pumped.

We hit the trail bright and early and I was scowl-y and slow. The first part has several(don't quote me, it was early) stunning waterfalls and shrubbery, a lot of which I missed because of all the scowling I was busy doing. I defrosted quickly though and rather enjoyed bringing up the rear for the next several miles. Then came the going up part of the hike.

I'm just not an uphill kind of person. I don't think it agrees with my brand. Let's just skip to the part where I wimp out.

If you haven't hiked Half Dome here's a little summary: up, up, waterfalls, granite staircases, flat, flat, flat, up, up, straight up, straight up some rocks, flat area where you eat granola bars and drink the last drops of your water, STRAIGHT UP A SLIPPERY PIECE OF GRANITE HOLDING ON TO A SHANTY CABLE THEY PUT IN HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO AND DON'T REALLY MAINTAIN BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT TECHNICALLY SUPPOSED TO BE CLIMBING THIS TINY PIECE OF COUNTERTOP.

That is a factually accurate description of the hike. Look it up. Here, I'll look it up for you.

A Book I Read

I'm happy to say I am now part of two book clubs! I have decided that book clubs are difficult to start and difficult to maintain. But very much worth it if you can keep it up and running. Maybe we should start an AdriLars book club here on the blog? Would anyone be interested in turning these posts into more of a discussion? Let me know.

So for one of the book clubs I'm in we read Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America by Firoozeh Dumas. I didn't know this book existed until Ash suggested it, which is actually the truth about most things I read. I may have been an English major and English teacher but I'm probably the worst-read English major and English teacher there ever was.

For full disclosure I will say that I didn't read the book with my eyeballs, I actually listened to it on Audible. I turn my subscription on and off all the time (which is probably not how they want you to use it, but oh well) because sometimes I like to listen but other times I really want to read the book so I can write notes in it and mark things. If you want to try it there is a link over on the sidebar right under the popular posts box.

This was one of the books I'm glad I listened to because Firoozeh reads it herself and it was so fun to hear her voice telling all the stories. So many hilarious things happened to her and her family living in America, I actually snort-laughed several times.

Some favorite quotes:

It's not what we eat or don't eat that makes us good people; it's how we treat one another. As you grow older, you'll find that people of every religion think they're the best, but that's not true. There are good and bad people in every religion. Just because someone is Muslim, Jewish, or Christian doesn't mean a thing. You have to look and see what's in their hearts. That's the only thing that matters, and that's the only detail God cares about.

I truly believe that everyone has a story and everyone's story counts.

Is that boy from your country?” she asked me. “Why, yes,” I wanted to tell her. “In my country, which I own, this is National Lose Your Child at Disneyland Day.” “No,” I told her. “He’s not from my country.

Firoozeh has such a sarcastic sense of humor, which speaks to my wannabe-comedian heart. On a more serious note the book addresses the racism and discrimination that she and her family and thousands and thousands of other immigrants have faced living in America.

My Mom Jeans

This probably isn't worth writing an entire blog post about but oh well. Since having Alice, my old pants, my hip-hugging, low-rise jeans don't quite 'fit' right. And when I say 'fit' I mean some of them don't button and some of them feel like what it probably feels like to be a sleeping bag bag. Trying to fit so much into such a small space.

I told myself that I just needed to lose the last pounds of my pregnancy weight and then they'd fit. Well I lost those pounds and guess what, they still didn't fit.

At first I was a little put off. That's annoying that just because I had a baby I now have bigger hips and I couldn't make them shrink back to the way they were before a bowling ball sized human went through them.

And then I thought, why would anything ever be the same after that? That's insane.

Here are what I would like out of my pants. Is this too much to ask? I don't think so.

I need jeans I can sit down in without my intergluteal cleft showing, or having them slide halfway down my butt.
I need jeans that let me dance.
I need jeans that don't hinder me chasing tiny baby feet.
I need jeans in which I can bend over and pick up the same thing a thousand times.
I also need jeans that make my butt look good, or like I still have a butt.
I would like jeans in good washes and with a little bit of built in wear and tear.
I would also like jeans I can take a nap in and lay on the floor in, and do other lethargic things in.

So then I went to a store and found me some jeans that didn't make me feel like stuffed sausage. Now some would classify these as mom jeans. Well that's fine cause I'm a mom, but that doesn't mean that only moms can wear jeans that fit and stay on and fill the above requirements.

So can we stop calling them mom jeans. Because I think the regular jeans would be offended that nobody really likes them or needs them anymore. And that's just sad. Why would you make the jeans feel bad like that? What did they do to you? Just let the regular, crappy, not fitting well jeans live, okay?

Let's just call them all jeans.

Did I make Tyler take a bunch of pictures of me in my new jeans solely for this post? Yes.
Do I look like a fool? Yes.
But do I look good in these jeans? Yes.

What is The Bachelor franchise actually good for?

Tyler gets 90% of the credit for this post. He said something after we watched ATFR that really made me think and is actually a brilliant analysis of the show.

The Bachelor franchise claims to be committed to helping people find love. They've set up the perfect scenario so that people can find their perfect match and live happily ever after. Well we all know the statistics and have heard a thousand times the numbers on 'bachelor couples' that actually stay together. It's disheartening to say the least. There are very few couples that found someone they wanted to be with and even fewer who have stayed with that person since they stopped filming their season. I'm not talking about that.

The ones who made it to the end, picked someone, and have found happiness and stayed with that someone are great. I think they're the rare lucky ones. Good for them, for basically gypping a system that is built to make you fail. I'm sure they're very grateful for what they have and work hard to maintain it, but like I said they gypped the system.

The Bachelor is not good at helping people find love. It has had a few flukes where people end up happy and in love, yes. But what the Bachelor is actually extremely skilled in is breakups. Heartbreak, heartache, getting dumped, being abandoned, that is the franchise's real talent.

At the end of the show on the final day when the lead is supposed to break up with one person and propose to the other, they always say the same thing. Some form of:

"Well I know it's going to be really hard to break up with (other person I'm dating), but I also know I have to do it to get to my happy ending (being engaged to other person I'm dating)."

And then in the After show and the months that follow that's basically what the show and the media is focused on. One person's broken heart/breakup and the subsequent joy of the other two people's happy engagement. They treat it like there was really only one difficult or true breakup on the season.

But let's take a look at the course of a season. Supposedly 25+ relationships/courtships begin on day one of the show. The women/men who are dating the lead are produced and then believe that they are the one dating the lead.

So then the show goes on and people leave/get broken up with. And then we see people cry. People cry on night one of leaving. And we laugh because we think that's silly that someone would cry for being broken up with after what appears to be 6 hours of 'dating.' And it is silly. In real life that would be silly to cry over someone you met 6 hours ago. But in Bachelor world it is not silly, it is serious and sad and dare I say, dramatic?

The show constructs this environment where you're enchanted and enamored on night one. You're already convinced that [insert location] is the perfect place to fall in love. You're (a little) convinced that the lead is probably the person for you and that you could see the potential possibility of wanting to fall in love with them.

So then when you get sent home, all of that environmental hype is crushed. You feel sad and hurt and embarrassed. And then the producers ask you questions like, "do you even want to find love?," "do you consider yourself a lovable person?," "do you ever think you'll find anyone who will love you?" So you cry, and talk about how all you really want in life is happiness and you thought sharing a house with 25 other people all trying to date the person you're dating would make you happy.

That is what the show is best at. They are professionals at creating an environment that makes you anticipate and want and desire things and then they take it away from you. They dangle some dreams in front of you, even let you smell the roses and then offer them to other people.

A book I read

Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I were given a limited amount of time to live. I think everyone probably wonders that sometimes. Unless you are prone to existential crises in which maybe you put a lot of effort into not wondering about that. I'd like to think I could begin to live every day as fully as possible and soak in every little moment. I'd never be angry, annoyed or frustrated. Only grateful, content and joyful.

Did you brush your teeth? A Pregnancy Story

If you've had any contact with us in the last year and a half then we probably told you the story of how we found out I was pregnant with Alice. For the other three people on the planet, I'm writing it here so you can read it.

We had been trying to get pregnant for a couple years and were getting ready to move to Spokane, and therefore losing the doctor we had, so it seemed like a good time to give up for a while. We were pretty discouraged and welcomed the break--sort of.

Neither of us were doing a lot of work so we had plenty of time to spend packing and cleaning. The way I pack is pretty efficient. I usually just choose a space that I feel like packing and hit it hard with Netflix in the background till it's done. I probably packed our dishes first, our storage last and our pantry somewhere in the middle. I know, super efficient.

The plan was to drive with Tyler's parents who let us borrow their truck and trailer. We drove the 11 hours in one day, which probably ended up being about 13 hours since we had a big heavy trailer of life behind us. We 'decided' to stop for dinner at the only restaurant in a 100-mile stretch once we got hungry.

It was a place kind of like Denny's but more like Denny's plus an antique store plus a Montana collectibles store. They had a giant menu ranging from breakfast burritos to ribeye steaks. I ordered oatmeal with butter and brown sugar on the side. Tyler ordered a chicken alfredo dish that was large enough to feed all four of us.

"I've got the runs."

Students tend to tell a lot of little white lies in order to get what they want out of school and out of their teacher. They want to do what they want to do, when they want to do it. And sometimes they think the best way to do what they want is to lie about the reason why they want what they want. Here is a list I’ve compiled of actual lies* students have told me. Some of them were told to other teachers and then shared with me. Seriously, these are things students actually said. I’m serious.

• I left my textbook in my other class. (Meanwhile, said textbook is under the student’s desk)
• I left my textbook in my other class. (said at a time when we weren’t even using the textbook.

For some reason not having everything you own, makes you incapable of doing any work whatsoever)

• I left my pencil in my other class
• I left everything I own in my other class, including my honesty
• I need to go to my locker.
• I need a drink
• I need another drink
• I’m hungry
• Can I go to the bathroom?
• I have to go take a picture of the clouds for my science class
• I don't have any tissues
• My hands are sticky
• My friend needs me to bring them a pencil
• I have to go practice my (musical instrument) during this period
• I have to go practice my (sport) during this period
• My mom is here
• My sister/brother/cousin/brother’s wife’s aunt is here
• Mr./Mrs. Other Teacher asked me to see them during this period

*I understand some of these may have been true at some point. Actually, probably not. Most of these can be remedied while staying in my classroom, because most of these are lies. What the student is really saying is “Dear lord, get me out of here, even if it’s only for a few minutes!”

But there was one time, when I believe the student may have been telling the truth. Which makes this story mortifying. At least, if he wasn’t telling the truth, he couldn’t come up with anything better, and that makes this story hilarious.

A book I read

I finished two books in January. Which will probably be two more than I finish the rest of the year. I've shared books before on here and I know no one actually cares what I've read but just in case someone wants to talk about it with me or wants a recommendation/warning, here we go again. The first one is The Bassoon King by Rainn Wilson.

I followed Rainn on twitter and Instagram for several years and he almost never posted about The Office or Dwight. He was always posting about his wife, son, Zonkey, his faith or his charity Lidé Haiti. I found out he had written a book a few years after it was published and put it on my to-read list and just recently got around to it. 

Rainn has one of the strongest senses of self that seeps out of his words. He talks a lot about life events of course, but he talks more about how the things he has done and chosen have shaped him as a person. He discusses, life, God, religion, death and purpose in a way that doesn't close you off but rather makes you feel more open and hopeful and more understood.

A few favorite quotes because he says it better than I could paraphrase.

When you see a lifeless form, you realize so clearly that we are not our bodies. 

Stories not only entertain us but tell us who and why we are, and what we believe collectively and individually.

 I don't know anything.

I've read several books written by actors, comedians, or other creatives and Rainn's has been my favorite so far. 10/10 would recommend. Here is a link to buy the book on Amazon.

Magic

There are little things that happen each day (sometimes few and far between, but they still happen) that make my insides feel like someone stuck a little flame in there. I guess “warms my heart” would be the phrase I hear most people use but that sounds superficial compared to what I feel. 

It’s as if actual heat pumps out of my heart and spreads to my extremities.

It happens when Alice leans in to kiss Tyler. 

It happens when Tyler hugs me just a little longer, because he feels what I need.

It happens when Tyler kisses me and that makes Alice laugh.

Her laugh, every time she laughs. 

Tyler and Alice have this thing he calls cheek time. She lays her cheek on his and rests there for a while, calm as can be.

It happens when one of us hides and she looks for us. 

It also happens when she's super whiney and pulls on my pants until I pick her up. 

And it happens when either of them rest their head on me. 

Halfway How-To January 2018

I decided to call this a halfway how-to. Partly because I'm not really going to give you instructions for how to do it, mostly because writing instructions doesn't appeal to me. And partly because the way I do DIY projects is not exactly the most correct or efficient way to do them and may actually be the lazy way, and the method of least resistance. Therefore this information is not reliable nor is it detailed and complete. And you probably just asked yourself why you are still here. So see ya!

For those of you that stuck around, here are some photos of the most recent projects we've been working on in the Larsen home.

I've made ornaments for every Christmas since we've been married. I originally just wrote the year on the back with a sharpie and that looked okay. And there was the unfortunate year of 2015 when I thought it would be a good idea to use glitter ModPodge. PSA for anyone thinking they should use glitter ModPodge it is MOSTLY glitter.

But I think I've got it down now. I burn whatever I want onto the back of the slice. Then I ModPodge the picture onto the other side.

*Fun Fact: these wood slices are our wedding vases. Tyler cut them up for me and I've been putting them to good use ever since.

Then I put the hook into the top, cut that string and tie it on. These are my very favorite ornaments because they are memories. And I love that I get to make them all different and unique.

Over Tyler's last school break he built us a TV stand/media console/bookshelf. We'd talked about needing something with doors to keep Alice from her favorite game of pulling stuff off shelves (if you've watched my Instagram Stories then you know).