At first I was mad at Taylor for not letting me listen to her latest album with my Spotify subscription. Then I thought to myself, if I wrote an incredible book (which I will someday), then I would like people to enjoy it for the worthy price of $16.99 ($14.99 paperback) and not $9.99 a month, along with busloads of other songs, eh...books, that feel like they are FO FREEEE!
So after that train came veering safely around the corners of my mind, I decided to forgive Taylor for wanting a fair monetary representation of all of her hard work. I get you, Tay. Which is to say, I bought the album.
For the first few listens I went straight to the hits: Blank Space, Shake It Off. That lasted a couple days. And then I hit the deep tracks.
You guys. In the words of me, " MY LIFE!"
There are at least a hundred songs on the 1989 album that are literally about my life when I was in high school. How does she know?!
Honestly, I was listening to the lyrics and the thought that kept repeating in my head was "If only I had had this to take out my teenage angst and rage instead of Avril Lavigne." Avril just didn't speak to my teenage issues the way that Taylor was in this moment. "Sk8er Boi" really never emulated my experiences in high school nor did it give me any sort of enlightenment regarding my troublesome dating life at 16.
But Taylor's lyrics were just vibe-ing with my teenage soul.
"Style" is the song for boyfriend #1 and #3 and #6 (do you see why this fits so well? It's the same boy) We were meant to be! Because we loved the same bands and had a similar distaste for parents.
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time
'Cause we never go out of style
We never go out of style
"All You Had To Do Was Stay" is dedicated to boyfriend-ish #2. Oh boyfriend-ish #2, if only you knew how weird it was that you thought I would want you after you made out with silly Melissa or Melanie or Stephanie, or whatever her name was while we were still dating. Here was the beginning of a confusing phase of life in which I didn't understand how someone could have multiple girlfriends. Later I would learn that that was weird and not normal.
People like you always want back the love they gave away
And people like me wanna believe you when you say you've changed
"I Wish You Would" really is dedicated to boyfriend #4. I wasn't ready to be adored and thought it was weird and so I shut him out forever. Upon realizing what I'd done and that I had under-appreciated being adored, this song was how I felt. I eventually gave up wishing he would come back and it was for the best. That would be a very awkward confrontation today. At the time though, these were my EXACT feelings.
I wish you would come back,
Wish I never hung up the phone like I did.
And I wish you knew that I'll never forget you as long as I live.
It may seem silly to you, but this was a cathartic experience for me. I finally felt like someone was expressing what I had been feeling so long ago and didn't know how to express except by trying to spy on boyfriends with my girlfriends and throw ice cream at their stupid cars. That was cathartic too, but not quite as "healthy," one might say.
And this is what I did while trying to be Tay:
Post a Comment